A beggar comes to your doorstep every day.
On
his first day, you offer him leftover biryani(rice and chicken/eggs
cooked in spices). You feel happy that you did charity. He feels happy
too since he had been jumping door to door but never got to have
something as tasty as biryani.
Pic: Biryani cooked by me
He
visits you again next day. You offer him fried rice this time. He is fine since he had eaten fried rice only a few times before. This goes on for a few days.
Now he stops visiting other houses, he knows that he has an unlimited supply of tasty food from your house.
He
visits you again the next day, this time you offer him some leftover rice. He is slightly disappointed, he was expecting something great but that is all you had. You are annoyed too that begging has become an everyday thing for him.
He
visits you again and demands biryani this time since you have only been giving him plain rice lately, he liked biryani more. Now he has driven
you out of your wits. You are appalled at his lack of gratitude and you are tired of having something to give him every day. It is no more a charity that you happily gave but has become a burden.
A beggar is angry too, why should he be grateful after all you only offered him leftovers that were going to get wasted anyway.
Why do modern marriages break?
Because we all have become ungrateful beggars.
Once we are hooked to a person, we are constantly asking and asking for love, respect, time, gifts, comfort, fun, this and that. We show up at our partner’s doorsteps every day demanding things that he simply can not give.
We are
hooked to the idea of biryani served at the beginning. Now we are not satisfied with plain rice, we want more and more biryani. We feel there must be many people offering biryani so why should we eat plain rice every day? We can't see the comfort in rice that it, in fact, is a healthier alternative. We do not realize the utility of rice that unlike biryani we can make so many delicious dishes out of it even biryani itself if we want but we never learn to make our own food. We are always dependent on our partners to feed us.
Just
imagine the worst-case scenario where two beggars get together asking for biryani every day? They are both hungry, they are empty emotionally and intellectually and want the other one to fulfill those voids. When we are both beggars how can we give anything at all?
But then one of us could also be a giver,
he is always giving and giving. At first, he is excited about the charity he is doing but it soon starts to get exhausting for him. Now he is no mood to keep cooking biryani for the ungrateful asshole.
In a relationship, we could either of the two a beggar or a giver and a union between either of the two is never going to work no matter how hard you try.
Marriages worked before because they never demanded biryani, they were happy that they were at least getting rice every day sufficient to fill their stomach but that is also not good news. They were missing out on the delicious biryani by just being satisfied with plain rice.
Marriages
will survive only and only when one of them at least learn to prepare
the spices so that the other can cook biryani. Marriages will not only
survive but thrive if both can cook biryani for each other and maybe
pizza too for a change, best if they cook it together, but that would be
too idealistic.
So, moral of the story is marry someone who can cook biryani and you at least learn how to prepare spices.
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